So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I need water and some morals
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
