I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
