we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
