I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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