I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
