Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
