i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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