How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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