Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Alive.
So much puke
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
