Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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