we have officially lost it.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
