I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
