i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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