I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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