I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
