I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
