I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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