They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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