Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
