that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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