My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
