she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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