You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
