I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
