i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
my poor anus
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
