Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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