She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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