come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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