'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
