I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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