is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
