If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
God, I missed his penis.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
