i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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