Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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