brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
