i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
