I met the friendliest cop last night
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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