This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She bit a glass in half.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
