Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
