this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
