I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
