We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
