dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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