im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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