does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
