All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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