just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
