Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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