you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
