I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
