it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
